At summer’s onset, I failed in my quest for the perfect men’s sandal. Some fine Dries Van Noten numbers on deep discount in an SSense sale (one very large pair remains available, as of writing) did not fit and had to return home to Canada. A pair of leather platforms, from a brand which shall go unnamed, arrived less appealing to the eye than they appeared online. Rather than sending those back, I languished in my nonsuccess until the return window’s latch firmly closed. I have yet to wear them outside of my apartment.